The Macon Telegraph's Ed Corson recently joined the sissies whining about lost civility and what he calls "toxic rhetoric." Syndicated columnist Ellen Goodman, well, we expect her to be a sissy. OK, some political language stretches the truth a bit. But the Nazification Goodman whimpers about is nothing new. We've been using Nazi humor since I was in junior high school.

Friends burdened with German surnames were naturally dubbed "kraut" or "field marshal". We mocked teachers with Hitler salutes and heel-clicks. Wise-guys needled me about my initials: SS. The principals and most teachers were collectively known as----you guessed it----the Gestapo.

In junior high school, among our more civil greetings were ones like, "Sit on it, moron," or "you eat dirty underwear." Social protocol required it. Even if we liked each other, we had to be macho about it. All this name-calling may strike you as sophomoric. It actually started when we were in junior high, long before we were freshmen.

Nazi humor is a defense mechanism, a way society incorporates unspeakable horrors into its psyche. No disrespect to Nazi victims is intended. Nevertheless, we have jackbooted journalists like Corson and Goodman trying to infringe our constitutional right to keep and bear insults. These nice-nellie Nazis have already banned one assault word: "commie". They shouted "McCarthyism! McCarthyism!" The next thing you know, they'll ban such useful labels as "liberal", "religious extremist", "mean-spirited", and other terms essential to political witch-hunts and verbal self-defense.

Granted, Corson and Goebbels---er, I mean Goodman---make a few good points. But I’ll wager that Hitler had a valid point or two himself. Effective propaganda requires an element of truth. Despite Bosnia and Rwanda, we know there won’t be another Holocaust. So, we should be free to precede "Holocaust" with "pollution", "welfare", "budget reforms", etc. Rational debate about the issues is too much trouble. Let’s trade insults and be done with it.

Political rhetoric is often absurd, but that's nothing new. Let’s keep what works. Gridlock was a good thing. In fact, we’d be better off if Congress had taken a century-long hiatus. Please don’t misunderstand; I like what Newt’s storm troopers are doing. Keep up the good work! Pay no attention to liberal Congressmen and their Third Reich fascist friends calling you "meanies".

We expect politicians to lie. The challenge is determining who's telling the biggest whoppers. Malicious hyperbole devalues the meaning of words, but we’ve grown accustomed to chronic verbal inflation. If politicians started telling the truth, we’d really get confused. Newt Gingrich shocks us with truth quite often, and that explains all the confusion surrounding his ascension to Fuhrer of the House.

The Civility Gestapo (Corson, Goodman, et al) fails to recognize a true benefit of political rhetoric: entertainment. Alfred Hitchcock was the master of suspense movies which frighten viewers witless without actually showing blood and gore. Classy suspense movies are now a rare breed as lesser skilled movie-makers show off their special effects technology escalating the effort to one-up each other with more slasher shock schlock.

Similarly, politicians escalate their language and metaphors which have grown more and more gory and distorted. Corson calls it "verbal terrorism". Goodman laments that we no longer merely disagree with someone, we "Nazify" them. I view the overstated rhetoric as amusing entertainment. It reminds me of high school.

The media considers politics without distortion or confrontation boring and unworthy of coverage. Ignore children or politicians and they’ll misbehave to get attention. Some City Council members labeled the Committee for Macon’s Future and its efforts seeking new leadership in Macon as "Nazi" and "racist".

The childishness in Macon's City Council, Atlanta, and Washington begs for corporal punishment. If voters won't spank politicians at the ballot box, we need another discipline alternative. Rhetoric rules and a time-out chair? Duct tape on the lips? Gestapo tactics?

Who will lay down their verbal weaponry first? Mature adults should lead by example. Don’t look at me. Lampooning liberal ideas and hypocrisy is just too much fun.

Copyright Ó1995 Steve Scroggins - All rights reserved.